Erster Songwriting-Versuch

w.m.e. · Anmeldungsdatum: 08.08.2006 Beiträge: 1 Wohnort: Berlin

Hey Leute.

Bin seit einiger Zeit am Songschreiben. Stecke also noch in den Kinderschuhen.
Wollt mal wissen, was ihr so von meinen ersten Versuchen haltet.
Schon klar, ist recht lang geworden... aber gebt dem trotzdem mal ne Chance und schreibt mir eure Meinung.

EVERYDAYisEVERYDAY

Everyday is everyday
wake up in the morning and do my buisness/bathness
Every morning
I see myself through the vision of the mirror
and think
oh no its again
again day

where is the dream of being perfect
I look into the mirror try to workout this monster
and it's getting harder everyday

everyday is everyday
no another
that's the little thing for which we should thank
that's the little thing which makes one day to the next
it doesn´t matter how we look
it doesn´t matter if we're beautiful, handsome or ugly
everyday isn´t everyday
we should give it a chance
even when the sky looks grey and it's still raining
and we are running out of hope
everyday isn´t everyday

everyday is everyday
one step more and going to work
every morning except weekends
I see myself beetween the same people in the tube
and think
oh no its again
again a working day

where is the dream of being rich and no need of work
okay, the reality looks different if you don´t win the lottery

everyday is everyday
no another
that's the little thing for which we should thank
that's the little things which makes one day to the next
it doesn´t matter where we are
it doesn´t matter if we are poor or rich
everyday isn´t everyday
we should give it a chance
even when the sky looks grey and it's still raining
and we're running out of hope
everyday isn´t everyday

everyday is everyday
after work, back at home
every evening, every weekend
I find myself on my own
there isn´t anybody who is waiting for me
and realise
oh no I`m again
again single

where is the dream of feeling butterflies,
one day it will come over me and I can´t protect myself

It can´t be everyday the same day
because there is
another cd in the player from your favourite singer
another message on the answering machine waiting after work for you
another movie that bores you
another friend who's waiting for help
another hand who's offer his when you fall
another suffer when you gets older
another love when the time is right
another bill when you're still in the minus
another job when you believe in yourself

open your eyes and you will see the different
and that's the little thinks which makes everyday to another day/ your day
and if you don´t find something
go out and live your day
it could be the last

everyday is everyday
no another
thats the little thing for which we should thank
thats the little thing which makes one day to the next
it doesn´t matter what our feelings say
it doesn´t matter if we are in love or hate someone else
everyday isn´t everyday
we should give it a chance
even when the sky looks grey and its still raining
and we are out of hope
everyday isn´t everyday
give it a chance
everyday isn´t everyday
everyday isn´t everyday
everyday isn´t everyday

w.e.c.

Cvrai · Verfasst am: Do Aug 10, 2006 11:19 Titel: Stammt das von dir?

Stammt das von dir oder lässt du das quasi jemanden singen?
"where is the dream of being rich and no need of work
okay, the reality looks different if you don´t win the lottery"

Denn solltest du das ernst meinen, dann überdenke noch einmal deine Einstellung zur Musik!
Nichts zu tun zu haben kann eine sehr unbefriedigende Last sein...
Und reich sein kann man auch wirklich ohne Geld, und das ist kein Poesiealbenspruch, sondern meine Erfahrung...
Stellst du damit natürlich nur wen dar, ist das eine klasse Parodie!

Ansonsten sind in dem Text einige grammatikalische Fehler, die selbst englische Popmusiker wohl nicht durchgehen lassen würden. Dennoch mach das weiter; die Anaphern zeigen, dass du Talent hast; schreib weiter an deinen Songs und versuche, nicht zuviele Klischées zu bedienen (so von wegen das Thema "jeden Tag arbeiten"). Ein Tipp dazu: werd textlich persönlicher oder: such dir ausm Lexikon eine englische Phrase (die es wirklich gibt im Englischen!) und glieder sie in den Refrain ein. Alles weitere baust du dann drumherum.

Wünsch dir weiterhin viel Spass! Aus welchem Genre sollte dein Songtext sein?

	Musikertalk.com Foren-Übersicht -> Songwriter	Alle Zeiten sind GMT + 2 Stunden
Seite 1 von 1